Friday, November 6, 2009

My romantic comedy treatment

 A friend emailed me these fateful words yesterday:

he's really been great this whole time, ___ almost makes me want to break the law. or at least sue someone

From there it was a no-brainer.  Picture Matthew Mcconahoweverthefuckyouspellhisname and Cameron Diaz as lawyer and criminal.  Either one can play either part.  For now, we we say he is the criminal and she is the lawyer, but it can be flipped.  Basically, the premise is simple, he keeps committing crimes for the sole purpose of spending more time with her.  (The tag line for the inevitable porn version is "he keeps coming back because she is so good at getting him off).  Yes, it's been done a billion times and will be awful, but that doesn't matter.  

We discussed different possibilities for the principal roles, perhaps Alicia Silverstone, or maybe someone more in the Geena Davis realm, or maybe Parker Posey, and Tilda Swinton came up, but that starts to veer into a whole different realm, namely respectable versus money.  
Maybe it's a small town, maybe there is a poker game with the sheriff? The first half is definitely full of madcap hijinx.  There is definitely a conversation with bars between them.  Perhaps she had to stay in the small town merely to defend him, her high school sweetheart, right as she was finally about to break free to the big city.  Clearly there is a happy ending.  Roll credits with Ella singing "My Romance, doesn't need a thing but you" and you've got yourself a movie.  A money maker, that was the point.  I didn't say a good movie, just one that would make money.  

The Knicks welcome Lebron to MSG tonight so everyone can analyze to their heart's content the odds of him calling NYC home next season (little to none).  But, in terms of this season, expect more of the same, no d from the Knicks mean that Lebron and Shaq make this a laugher early, subs come in, Knicks put a dent in the lead late but still fall big, 98-76.  

Looking forward to a nice, sunny weekend, full of long rides.  Enjoy. 

1 comment:

  1. I'm thinking she's an environmentalist in the subburbs or something, and he's never cared about anything but his job, and he's appointed as her pro-bono lawyer for chaining herself to the small-town tree in town square, and then she keeps doing "civil disobedience" to spend time with him. She finds love is more valuable than wasting her passion on the earth, and he finds there's more to live than work and, along the way, finds love.