I love the people in this world who have bells on their bike. That sounds condescending, but I truly, truly don't mean it that way. I think they are the optimists of the world, I think one would have to be to believe that the pleasant little ring a ding will make a difference among the horrible screeches, blats, honks, and squeals of the big city. It's like the Miles Davis Quintet, circa 1956, with Red Garland gently caressing the sweet little piano intro, "Ding, dong, ding, dong," in the middle of a mashup of Masada, Minor Threat, and Gwar.
"Ask me how do I feel, ask me now that we're cosy and clinging. Well sir, all I can say is if I were a bell I'd be ringing..."
It's genteel and sweet, and I was lucky enough to have a bird's eye view of a classic bell scene this morning while going north on the fairly brand spanking new, drainage challenged Allen Street bike lane. I was stuck behind a very upright woman on a dutch city style bicycle of the sort that people keep claiming to be the ideal commuter. I personally don't find anything ideal about 40 lbs and a wingspan that barely fits the Manhattan bridge bike lane, let alone squeezing between cars in traffic, but to each their own. That's the thing about all these commuter proclamations "your lock should cost more than your bike," "you have to have fenders," "we need more bike lanes," "bike lanes are no good." Different people have different styles, different priorities. Personally, I prefer taking a lane and actually feel safer being in traffic. To some, comfort is important, and they would prefer to sit upright, separated from the cars and not have street scum splash all over them (yes, I eschew fenders, I know...I know...), but we use the street differently, and what works for the bike messenger might not work for the businessman. The best we can do is try to empathize with what other people might find important, try to look beyond ourselves, at least try. But I digress.
Finally having passed the giant wingspanned commuter, I nearly clocked a Lindsay Lohan lookalike. Fortunately, I was spared the pedestrian hate, since she never noticed a thing. She was crossing the street, I think she was at least, in a very meandering way and had just gotten to the giant potted plant partitions when I passed her, head bobbing away and looking North through giant Aviators, even though traffic was coming from the south. I heard the tinkle tinkle of the little bell and had to look back. Li-lo continued staring north, the bell continued to ring and the cyclist eventually went around the still roaming aimlessly child star look alike, never saying a word, but ringing constantly.
"Ask me how do I feel, little me with my quiet upbringing. Well, sir, all I can say is if I were a gate I'd be swinging! And if I were a watch I'd start popping my springs, or if I were a bell I'd go ding, dong, ding, dong, ding!"
"Well, if I were a salad I know I'd be splashing my dressing" - interestingly, I did see a man pouring salad dressing onto this very same bike lane..., "ask me how to describe this whole beautiful thing, well if I were a bell I'd go ding dong, ding dong.....GET THE HELL OUT MY WAY, WHY IN THE WORLD DO YOU THINK IT IS OK TO AMBLE AIMLESSLY IN TRAFFIC WHILE WEARING HEADPHONES??!!"
Just not zen enough I guess, I strive to be "Relaxin with the Miles Davis Quintet," but often am still much more "Never Mind the Bollocks."
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